A relationship is not just about the glitz and glam (“My view, His view”) portrayed on social media. It requires intentionality and commitment.

One common mistake we make is entering relationships with preconceived notions and unrealistic expectations.

Relationships are a fundamental aspect of human nature, encompassing friendships, family ties, courtships, and marriage, but we’ll focus on courtships and marriage from a believer’s perspective.

The desire for companionship and love is a natural part of our being but isn’t exclusive to us, seeing that God’s blessing in Genesis 1:22 was for all living beings.


“Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.” – Genesis 1:22

We all have different ideas about romantic love, shaped by various influences like personal experiences, movies, books, music, social media, societal norms, and expectations.

However, as believers, we should filter our thoughts and ideologies through God’s Word, which is our standard.

“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” – 1 John 4:1

This is particularly important when considering relationships and marriage, as God instituted these concepts.

While romantic love often brings excitement and “butterflies,” it’s important to understand that love, for believers, is more than just emotions.

It’s a fruit of the regenerated spirit, and this means that when your heart is too broken or hurt to love, your Spirit can.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23             

This helps us understand that as believers, we can love even when we don’t feel like it, because God’s love dwells in us through the Holy Ghost.

This ability to love distinguishes us, as Jesus said in John 13:35.

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:35

We should approach love and relationships with humility, acknowledging that popular media may have shaped our perceptions inaccurately.

The average lady wants a TDH (Tall, Dark and Handsome) prince that will sweep her off her feet, while the average male wants a lady with a mix of Mercy Chinwo and Tiwa Savage.

Some people even go as far as believing that there is only one partner for them.

This is untrue because while God may ordain a relationship, our actions can still jeopardize it.

The biblical example of Paul and Barnabas, who were initially paired for ministry (Acts 13: 1-3) but later parted ways, illustrates this point.

A match you could say was made in heaven experienced a fallout.

Successful romantic relationships are built on three cardinal factors – Romance, Duty and Purpose.

Romance is the initial stage of attraction and excitement in a romantic relationship. It’s that feeling when the love is “shacking” you.

Duty is our commitment to fulfill roles and responsibilities. When romantic feelings wane, duty becomes crucial.

Relationships strong in duty but lacking in romance can still endure and thrive, so no matter how strained your relationship gets, never fail in duty because if the “butterflies” in your belly fly away, duty in place can cause their return.

Purpose is understanding the deeper meaning of the relationship.

Earthly marriage serves as a typology for the union between Christ and the church.

“[31] As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”
[32] This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.” – Ephesians 5:31 – 32

Ephesians 5:32 refers to marriage as a “mystery,” indicating its profound spiritual significance.

As believers, we’re called to demonstrate Christ-like love in our relationships, loving our partners as Christ loves the church – unconditionally and sacrificially.

It will not be a walk in the park, but it is possible.

All a successful relationship requires from us are our intentionality, hard work, and commitment to love as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

“[4] Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud

[5] or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.

[6] It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.

[7] Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

[8] Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless.
But love will last forever!” – 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

By following God’s blueprint, we can build strong, Christ-centered partnerships that reflect His love to the world.